Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I just blew my weed a kiss
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
