i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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