I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
