I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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