You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
The maid of honor just puked.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
