Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
