Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
