and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
