We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize