Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
