One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize