I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
