Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
