allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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