Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
