your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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