Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
