Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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