Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
