dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
