I didn't shave. On purpose
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
