O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
one might say we're banned from that church
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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