I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
