Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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