I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
