So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
