never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Randomize
