google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
babies were throwing up all over the place
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
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