You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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