Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
