I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
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