Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
