It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
