Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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