the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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