when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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