You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
