I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize