If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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