Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
