.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
