I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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