omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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