talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
