I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
