Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
He had one of those small greek statue penises
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
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