Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
