Apparently you make a good broom.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Less talking, more tequila
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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