pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
