I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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