I'd wear matching sweaters with you
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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