They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Randomize