if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
