no, he came in my armpit
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
