i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
