Well douche your snatch and let's go!
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
