are you so shy because you have an std?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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