some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
