you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
