i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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