so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
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