i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
